National Siblings Day

If you had asked me 15 years ago on this date whether I appreciated my younger brothers and sister, my snarky, pre-teen, know-it-all reply would have been something like “only when they do (insert chore here) for me”, or “my parents should have stopped after me. Why mess with perfection?” 

Fast forward to present day; thankfully I’ve gained some perspective. When I think back to some of my best childhood memories, they all have at least one of my three siblings in them: road tripping to Florida and separating seats in the van with Heather’s blankies; taking turns shouting lines from the Muppet movie while we were each in our bedrooms supposed to be sleeping; coordinating Halloween costumes; terrorizing babysitters; random chocolate; and ‘they’re clean!’ (Sorry, PBP).

We’ve been through a hell of a lot in a short period of time – more than most  given our ages – but the glue that’s bound us together has continued to hold strong. 

I don’t think I’ve ever fought, laughed, cried, or shared as much with anyone as I have with these three and I wouldn’t change it for the world. They pick me up when I don't have the strength to do it myself. They love me unconditionally even though at times I may not love myself. They support me as I continue to pursue my dreams. They give me perspective. They have shaped the woman I am today.

Happy National Siblings Day Heather, Kenny & Paul. 

I love you all to the ends of the earth and look forward to watching you soar. 

“To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other’s hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember the feuds and secrets, family grief, and joys. We live outside the touch of time.” 
– Clara Ortega

Reliving The Glory Days

Last night, I had a chance to relive the glory days. 

No, I’m not talking about the "high-school Alyshia" glory days. I’m talking about reconnecting with my first love: skating. 

France 2004

Back in the day, I was a competitive synchronized skater with Whitby Ice Fyre. A member of Team Canada for two years, our junior competitive synchronized skating team competed both locally and internationally, representing Canada at two competitions in Europe. 

Our 20-member team was like a sorority - minus the Greek letters and secret handshake. We were all very different but were united by the one thing we all had a passion for: synchronized skating. (Well, that and hockey players.)

We partied together, we cried together, we succeeded together, we lost together. I formed lasting friendships with many of the girls I skated with – one of them was even a bridesmaid in my wedding. 

Just another practice circa 2005

The year I stopped skating to pursue college, the fees were several thousand dollars and the time commitment had reached upwards of 20 hours a week. I never thought I’d be crazy enough to skate again have the opportunity to be part of a team again.  But when I found out a few girls I used to skate with were hosting an open session to gauge interest in a potential adult team, I was more excited than I expected.

It took me a few days to locate my skates and after sharpening the rust off of them (literally), I was ready to go. I hadn’t been on the ice in over six years, but somehow convinced myself I'd be able to do it.

Last night, reality began to sink in. When I walked into the arena, my cheeks flushed and my heart raced. What the hell was I doing here? What if I made a total fool of myself? I wasn’t even sure I’d remember how to stand on the ice, let alone skate.

The second I stepped on the ice, my anxiety and fear disappeared - I felt at home. The cool air nipped at my cheeks as I began warming up and I realized how good it felt to just skate.

Our signatures are still in our old change room

Standing on the ice with some of the girls I skated with eight years ago, it was like no time had passed at all. As we worked through different warm ups and skills, my mind wandered to memories of three-hour practices, the competitions, sneaking out to buy alcohol in Paris, and sharing secrets, tears and laughs.  

It felt like nothing had changed…. until I woke up this morning and realized time had changed one thing: my body’s ability to bounce back after a skating session.

I could barely swing my legs over the side of my bed. I’m sore in places I didn’t realize I had muscles. Evidently over the past eight years, my body has taken a bit of a turn for the worse and doesn’t recover from a work out like it used to when I was 18. I feel like I have a skating hangover. The crazy part is I can't wait to do it again.  

I was proud I managed to make it through the hour-long session with only four blisters and without falling – on the ice at least. I did take a tumble (read: face plant) in the change room afterwards – evidently I need to get used to my toe picks again.

So, I’m looking forward to the session again next week, joining the team in August and making new memories…. Unless of course I don’t make the cut, in which case I’ll just tell everyone I decided against skating after all. 

Stay tuned!

A Letter To Donor Families

Dear Donor Family,

I am writing to you today to express my sincere condolences for your loss.

You may already be coming to the realization that the end is inevitable, or perhaps you have yet to go through the tragedy that will ultimately lead you to a decision that will change your life forever – the decision to donate your loved one’s organs and tissues.

My name is Alyshia and I, too, am a donor family member. My Dad, Malcolm Higgins, was in a single-vehicle car accident in 2010 and sustained a critical brain injury. His eldest child at 24 years old at the time, I was appointed his substitute decision maker. The moment I received the phone call that he’d been in an accident, I knew my life would change forever.

When my three younger siblings and I learned my Dad would never awake from his injury, we chose to withdraw life support. He was six months shy of his 50^th birthday.

I remember the day so vividly: the fear, the heartbreak and the devastation were overwhelming. I also remember another feeling: comfort. My Dad met the criteria for organ donation. Through his gift, one man received a double-lung transplant; two men each received a kidney, freeing them from the rigorous routine of dialysis; and two more received the gift of sight through his corneas.

It gave us comfort to know that although we couldn’t save him, five other families would be touched by his selflessness.

You may be surprised to know that today, right this minute, there are more than 1,400 people waiting for a life-saving organ transplant in Ontario. To so many of us, this number is not just a statistic; it represents our friends, siblings, cousins, children, and parents who are all desperately waiting for the gift of life. They are people like 14-year-old Kayla.

Kayla Baker

This vivacious young woman is waiting for a double-lung transplant and she’s no stranger to courage.

As a youngster, she battled leukemia and survived, but her struggle is not over. Several years ago, she was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis – a condition that causes lungs to harden overtime and eventually, stop functioning. The only cure for this disease is transplant. April 1 will mark two years since she was placed on the transplant wait list. Because Kayla is so small, her gift of life will likely need to come from another child.

There are no words to describe parents who lose their children because it’s just not supposed to happen. Tragically, it does and all too often. My Dad’s father – my grandfather – sadly experienced this. He was devastated to outlive one of his children, but was immensely proud of the legacy his only son was leaving behind.  

I can’t even begin to imagine the pain, the anger and the devastation of losing a child because I am not a mother.What I can tell you is how it feels to have a family member who is a hero.

When we were told my Dad’s grave prognosis, I desperately wanted to do something – anything – to make everything better, but the reality was he could no longer be helped. It broke my heart to think of all of the things he was going to miss out on.

He wasn’t there to walk me down the aisle at my wedding and I will never have a memory of him beaming with pride and kissing me on the cheek as his little girl one last time. He’ll miss the grandchildren my siblings and I will eventually have and there will never be another Christmas where we’ll sit down as a family and reminisce. Our memories are now all we have.  

For three other families whose fathers, brothers, husbands and friends were saved because of my Dad, they will have these things for many years to come. In fact, I know through correspondence with my Dad’s double-lung recipient that he was able to proudly walk his daughter down the aisle without an oxygen tank in tow and visited his family out west for the first time in 10 years.

Making the choice to donate is not a difficult one, but one made during the most difficult of times and I know this firsthand. Donating your loved one’s organs and tissues will never take away the pain of losing them, but it can provide you with some solace in your time of overwhelming grief.

One single donor can potentially save up to eight lives through organ donation and enhance 75 more through their tissues. Imagine sparing other families like Kayla’s from losing their precious child, allowing them to see another birthday, another Christmas, even just another day.

For those waiting, time is running out and Kayla is no exception. She is currently in hospital and her lung function is rapidly deteriorating. If she doesn’t get a transplant soon, she will inevitably die. There are more than 1,400 other people just like her who are waiting for that call.

I respectfully ask that in your time of grief you consider the life-changing and life-saving gift organ and tissue donation can have.

Your choice will not only impact the immediate future of your loved one’s recipients, but will create an eternal legacy. 

Please, register your consent at beadonor.ca, talk to your family and speak to your loved one’s healthcare team. The decision you make will change lives forever - including your own.

With sincere gratitude,

A Proud Donor Daughter

New Beginnings

I’m sitting at my computer wanting to tear my hair out. For a girl who speaks 90% of the time she’s awake, I’m finding myself speechless. I can assure you, this never happens. In fact, I’m usually the girl who has something to say so badly that I blurt it out without giving any thought to it. 

I should also mention I'm a professional communicator.... So not being able to formulate thoughts and ideas is just a bit counterproductive to my existence - in the professional world, anyway. 

It’s been a while since I took a break from the blogging world. My last experience was an emotional rollercoaster – I was writing a blog about experiencing the “firsts” after losing my Dad unexpectedly. The pain became too much and after hearing much criticism about my candidness during the process, I decided to take a step back to grieve.

Fast forward two years and here I am, taking another stab at it. This time around, I don’t have a specific focus.The posts will be unfiltered thoughts on everything from school to work to friends and family sprinkled with some personal experiences and opinions.

Join me on an unfiltered journey as I spill my views onto my keyboard without a second thought. I hope you'll show the same openness with your comments and feedback.